Truth Lyes On The Inside...

three days

Mon, 29 May 2006 18:30:01 GMT

Ok..there is only three days left until Kyle comes home for his two weeks..Im so happy..
He has talked to my parents and we are suppose to be going back to his home so I can meet his parents...BUT THERE IS ONLY THREE DAYS LEFT!!!

I did it..

Sat, 25 Mar 2006 19:29:48 GMT

Well I got my tattoo yesterday that I wanted and I absolutely love it...My arm/shoulder/back kindda hurt a little today but that is normal. I really didnt hurt as much as I thought it was going to after he had started on it. I was so scared at first that I really didnt want to be there anymore, but I dragged my parents into going with me so I went through with it. It went by quickly so that was a plus..but that is all for now!

wow...

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 23:45:11 GMT

Well things seem to be getting better. I was able to talk to Kyle on wednesday and he was able to talk to me 4 times, I was so happy to hear from him that much in one day. But now I havent heard from him since and its a little weird but I know that soon enough I will get a call again. I love him so much.
I have been going out to the club twice a weekend and it seems that time has started to fly by alot faster now that I am keeping myself busier. I love my Sara to for dragging me out of the house to start going if it wasnt for her then I would prolly be sitting in my room doing nothing and waiting for the days to slowly go by. I cant wait for summer, I have started looking at bathing suits but like most girls I hate the way I look in them but everyone else says they look good. Plus when summer comes I get to spend 2 weeks with my baby and he wants to take me to meet his parents. Im alittle mervous but who wouldnt be, we have been together for over 8 months and when I go with him we will only have been together for 11 months...do you think that is to soon to fly across country to meet his parents?
Well that is all for now!!
~Stephy~

hmm...

Fri, 10 Mar 2006 03:41:51 GMT

Well life has been going ok lately except for today..Today has just been a day that I want to crawl in a hole and hide my pain or to just crawl back into bed and wish the day would start over. I have one more midterm to take and then back home for my spring break week. I get to spend it with my bestest friend in the world and to work.
Kyle called me a couple days ago and it felt so good to hear his voice..I had gone 5-6days with out talking to him. It was getting really stressful on me lately. Everything seems to be getting really hard and confusing right now.
Well back to studying and writting Kyle before I go to bed!
~Stephy~

short

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 22:06:45 GMT

Just a short little update..

I went downstairs in my dorm to do my laundry while walking back i decided hey lets check my mail. I opend up the mail box and there was a letter from my baby! I was so happy to see that I finally got his letter. He has been asking me if I had received it yet and I kept telling him no. So after waiting 2 weeks I got the letter..Im so happy..today has made out to be a good day..

Well Im not going to be able to talk to him for awhile because they are doing some kind of training or mission up on a mountain but that is ok. The letter was short it was just to tell that he arrived all right and how he had been since he left. Wow..I miss him so much..

Well thats all for now!!

~Stephy~

YAY!!

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 17:07:09 GMT

Well Kyle has been able to get on the computer like everyday so I have been able to talk to him alot..I miss him so much..but I have been doing ok since I can talk to him. We got into a little tiffy yesterday because I was going out and he got all worried about me and didnt want me to go...but he got over it and today he said he was sorry for acting like that yesterday, so it made me happy.

Today I got to talk to him online and then like 30 minutes later he called me on the phone and we talked for 20 minutes on the phone. It felt so good to hear his voice again..he said that he would try and call me when he gets back from his 4 days up on the mountains..Its good to know that I can talk to him right now at least once a week so it makes it alittle easier to get through this time..

For some reason it feels like time is going by so slow but then again I havent been keeping myself as busy as I wanted to..

When he called me today he asked me a serious question...
He asked first if I could take more then 2 weeks off when he gets his 2 weeks...
Then he asked me if I wanted to go to the west coast and meet some of his family...
I didnt know what to say.. but of course I said yes..
I knew this day would come but I didnt think it would be this soon...

So I have good news today and hopefully it will be a good day!!

~Stephy~

not much going on??

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 00:35:20 GMT

Kyle called me today to wish me a Happy Valentines Day and we talked for awhile. This is the second time that i have talked to him..I didnt think i was going to be able to talk to him today and it made my day when he called. I just love hearing his voice....well im still waiting to get his letter and i cant wait to get it..well gotta go...

Photobucket

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 14:06:55 GMT

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

nothing really going on

Fri, 10 Feb 2006 02:07:41 GMT

Ok so a week with out my love beside my side and im still trying to hold on..and i am very proud of myself..I sent him 2 valentines day cards today becuase i couldnt pick which one i wanted to give him. I hope they make him as happy as they made me when i read them. I love him so much and I am staying busy so that way time will go by faster. Well I know soon that i am going to have to say bye to two more people and that is going to be hard having three people gone that i care about. But with one week down i only have 51 more to go..or only 3 more anniversaries to go before i get to see him for 2 weeks...I dont want to work those two weeks that he will be home because i dont want to leave his side. But i am tired and nothing is really going on so i am going to go relax before bed!!

today

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 00:34:11 GMT

Today is mine and Kyles 7 months mark and he has only been gone since thursday and I wish I could hear from him but I doubt i will...I hope this gets easier on me!! I miss him so much i just wish he could come home...and hold me like he used it...how long will it be before i hear his voice again?? someone please help me from going crazy!!!

Crushed

Mon, 30 Jan 2006 17:22:31 GMT

Well Kyle leaves on Thursday and I dont know what I am going to do....Im already going crazy and he hasnt even left yet. But he told me it iwll go by fast and not to think about it. Plus he told me he will write as much as possible and call when he gets the chance. But yesterday it was so sweet he told me that he had to go to a car shop to get something for his truck and when he came home he had bought me the promise ring that I wanted. He told me that he bought it because he told himself that he would buy it for me when my parents let us sleep in the same bed and that happened to be on saturday so he went and bought it on sunday. Its so pretty because it is an Emarld and to little diamonds on the side, but the whole ring is little. But I didnt want anything big.
I've never been through this whole deployment thing and I have been telling myself ever since he told me that he would be going over there that I would be ready by the time he left, well now is the time and I'm going crazy, I cry myself to sleeep every night and he stayed last night and left in the morning for work and when the alarm went off and he told me that he had to get up and leave, i just laid on top of him because I didnt want him to leave. But it was cute today before I left to come back to school I was downstairs getting ready to put my coat on and somebody knocked on the door and it was Kyle, he made up the excuse that he couldnt find his room keys and that he thought he left them in my house, he did it just so he could come back to see me.
Since Kyle is leaving on Thursday my parents were going to meet him where my dad works at Pizza Hut and have dinner and everything and I asked my mom if it would be ok if I came home because I wanted to see him one more time before he left and they said yes because I said I would leave and come back for school in the morning but today when I was getting out of the shower my mom told me that if I didnt feel like going back to school she told me that I didnt have to after Kyle left. I will have to go back on monday morning. Well at least my parents are understanding about how much it is going to upset me when he leaves.
Well that is all for now!
~*Stephy*~

boring

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 18:53:58 GMT

Well back at college and dont know what to do...I have ownly been away for a day and it is already killing me inside. Knowing that preety soon just like Sara I have to say goodbye to three people..My bestfriends dad, my boyfriend and one of my bestfriends. Everything in my life seems to be getting harder and I dont know when it is going to get easier. But I know through it all I will have people by myside going through the same things and I will have my boyfriend who will come back to me. But all in all everything is ok in my life I have never asked for more then what I have...
I have the bestest friend in the world..
The bestest boyfriend..
And so many other things to be thankful of...
Well gotta go get things done for class tomorrow..
~*Stephy*~

nothing to say but at least i will try

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 13:50:55 GMT

Well this is it, this is my last weekend here...I dont know what I'm going to do it is going to be so different again when I go back to school plus I am going to have alot more on my mind this time. But I know I will just have to push myself and I will be able to get through it. Me and Sara both just keep pushing and we can get through anything that it is. I miss Sara not being around anymore as much as she use to be.

Depression keep gettting closer and closer everyday that I know that my baby is going to be leaving me for a year. Even now that he is still close I still cry myself asleep the more I think about it. My life will be differnet with out him here but as long as I have my Sara I will be able to do this. We have been through alot over the years and this is not going to be one thing that is going to change that.

But enough about that and back to me...Today is my first day off since I got back from NYC, I had alot of fun but now that I am home I realized how much I missed out on being home. But then again I was so happy down there because it was just me and Kyle and nobody was around to tell us what to do and what not to do. Me and Kyle were talking last night and he told me when he gets out of the military he wants to go to colllege and he wants us to get married a year before he gets out, live with my parents so that way we can save up some money before he gets out. I mean it sounds like a good plan but do I want to live with my parents a year while im married??

Well gotta go get ready..I have to go meet my boyfriend for lunch!!

~*Stephy*~

the day after christmas....

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 14:50:18 GMT

Well it is the day after chrostmas and Im still so tired..well I think does have something to do with the fact that last week I worked 41.9 hours at work...who really works that much!!

My Christmas wasnt the best I mean I had everyone I love here all except one person..My Sara...

Heres how my Christmas day went...

I woke up around 730am
I went downstairs and climbed into bed with kyle for a bout and hour
Everyone got up we went to the livingroom and I handed out the presents like I do every year..
Then we all went around the room to open up presents..I sat on Kyles lap like I always do..

Good so far dont know what happened..

Then after presents were done mom and dad started on the food cux it was well after 1030am..
Everyone got prettied up and showered..Of course I had a pretty litttle christmas outfit...but when I put it on it didnt fit the way I wanted to..

I think that is where it went wrong..Knowing I have gained weight since last year,,not really alot to see but more enough to feel...

Well arround 130ish dinner was done and Keith had come over for dinner since he had no where to go(Sara dont worry we took care of him)...
Then like any big meal I took a nap..
After awhile me and Kyle went for a walk just me and him..you would think I would be happy but I wasnt...
Then around 830 we had pie and ice cream to finish the night off and a family christmas movie..

Sounds like it could have been a wonderful day but it wasnt...

I mean I got everything I wanted for except a could of CD's but I can go buy them myself...
My boyfriend spoiled me he gave me everything I wanted and more... I mean he got me the purfume I wanted, the Snikers, the PJ's, the belly button rings I wanted..
My parents got me Care bears stuff since I am a care bear person, the got me bath stuff, they got me lounge around outfits, the got me the tank tops I wear since all mine have been destroyed from work..
and beenig nice my parents gave me two free car payment coupons...since i finally got a new car..I now have a 2001 Grand Am..It is a relly nice looking car...

Well our trip for NYC is still up I guess and we most likely have the car situation under control cuz we can prolly take mine...but where we are staying and stuff like that.. I have no clue...we are doing a really good job at this whole palnning idea.

I have today off and then I work tuesday and wednesday,,then the 5days off that we were going to NYC but we are leaving a few days later or a day later depending on when sara gets back and when she wants to leave...

Well I gotta go get ready for the day..dont know what I am doing yet but I know there is stuff taht needs to get done...

~*Stephy*~

Thu, 15 Dec 2005 18:02:41 GMT

Finals are over for me and now it is time to pack and clean up so I can come home tomorrow. I will be home for a month..the more I pack the more I realize that I dont think I am going to have enough stuff to carry it all...Why do I have to carry so much stuff..lol...oh because I am a girl and we think we have to pack enough to live on. But I am happy that I am leaving this hell whole of a college for a month, give me time to rest and not have to worry about much..

but got to get back to packing..

~*Stephy*~

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 23:28:00 GMT

Well I took one of my finals today so that is one less that I have to do..So now I only have 2 more to go and then I will be off for a month I am so excited..I made it through my first semester of college. Well today the final I took we had 2 1/2 hours to complete it and I was done within an hour is that good?? and to top it off it was the class I am barely passing and to me it seemed really easy..it makes no sense what so ever, but the next 2 test shouldnt be that bad they are my more easier classes...expecially thw one on wednesday night because it is my computer class and that is just a GPA raiser.

But anyways...Christmas is almost here and I am starting to get really happy becuase that means I will get to wake up to the most wonderful person in the world and that is Kyle. He is going to be spending two whole weeks at my house..can I handle that..lol, then after that comes new years and what does that mean NYC..if everything goes right and we make the reservations this weekend before Sara leaves. I hope it goes alright because that will be the last really special thing that me and Sara do with the guys before they leave us for a year. Christmas this year was kindda expesive for me but what can I say I bought alot of people things and some stuff wasnt cheap but what is cheap anymore in this day of time.

Well I better get back to studying...you cant just pass a test without knowing the material!!

~*Stephy*~

Long time

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 01:21:31 GMT

Long time since I have updated...but I have been so busy with studying and going to school and then going home to work and everything...well I have two test tomorrow and then 3 next week and then I'm all done for about a month so it should be fun for a little bit..give me a long time to catch up on some sleep and some extra money since i will be working more. I will be looking for a car again so i dont have to rely on people anymore for rides. Well if everyting goes right i will be going to NYC for new years i have been looking for prices for cars and hotels, im getting so excited its not really that far awhile til then. Plus my baby will be staying with me for christmas and maybe for even two weeks i cat wait..

But got to get back to studying and finish putting the citations in my paper

~*Stephy*~

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 17:37:58 GMT

Tell me:

1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One random thing
4. One love note.
5. Lyrics to a song.
6. How old you are.
7. How long we've been friends.
8. A hint to whom you are.

Post anonymously.
Ill Never have to know.
So say what ever you want to.
Mean or nice.
Just hit me with it.
And then I will try and guess who you are.

Tiredness and ready for a new life

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 03:15:05 GMT

Well its all almost over...pretty soon it will be December and then my first semester of college will be over and i will have time to rest and get back to my normal self again. but till then i just have to keep going and make everybody proud of me. im so sick and tired of making people proud of me, why should i have to prove to them that i can do this? sometimes i just feel that college is to much for me right now with everything i have going on...nothing seems to be perfect anymore..why cant it be perfect anymore..
then after Decemebr is January and that is the month i hate and it is so close, kyle will be leaving me asoon and i dont know what to do, im so lost and sonfused sometimes, when will everything be better and when can i let go of all my fears, my fears of losing the best thing in my life, losing my best friend, losing my love, losing everything i ever worked for in life.
Well i need to start looking for a car again, im getting sick of people taking me everywhere and it is starting to get expensive after awhile..
thats all for now tired and going to bed
Night
~*Stephy*~

Just a little longer

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 14:40:09 GMT

Only about 2 months till Kyle leaves me for a time period that is to long to wait...Only a little over a month before possibly going to New York city for New Years. I dont know how I am going to go deal with Kyle being gone for so long. He is the only thing that keeps me going sometimes, I feel that if i didnt have him in my life i wouldnt be here right now. But taking one day at a time is all we can do to see how it goes.

This school shit is getting to me to..i never thiught it could be this hard, but that is what college is for. Plus ever since i left to go to college i have lost touch with everybody i knew, but slowly everybody is starting to get ahold of me to hang out.

It has been alittle over a month since my accident and i have been doing alot better but i miss having a car to get everywhere and doing what i want, my parents said they will start looking for a different car for me but i know they are going to get me something that is really bad. I can always take a different path, i can take Kyles truck but i dont know if i want to do that because that is his truck.

Life is this miserable mess right now..I wish i knew what to do, but as long as i have my boyfriend and my best friends i will be able to get through it. Me and Sara a year or longer with out the ones we love, it will be hard but we will get through it.

I'm tired

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 22:21:18 GMT

I don't want to do this school thing anymore, I'm not doing good in any of my class so what is the point of continuing to go to school...I use to be a striaght "A" student and now I'm pulling my ass to try an pass, and right now it doesn't seem to be working. Plus I'm so tired of beign tired, sick of being sick, and just don't want to go to school anymore, all I want to do is spend the rest of my life with the one and only person that matters, get married nd run away. Live a happy life nd not worry about anything anymore, and I know Sara feels the sme way that I do. I love you Sara and I'm sorry I haven't been here alot lately just been really busy, you know how it is.

I love you Sara, I love you Kyle

~*Stephy*~

To everyone

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 00:26:38 GMT

Well what can I say last weekend was fun for the most part i guess, i really didnt do much but hangout with Sara, Kyle and Keith. But this weekend I have officially been "grounded" to my house for the whole weekend. The only thing i can do is go to work and go get food other then that i have to stay home and do homework and try to get over this stupid cold that i have had for about 2 weeks now.

Im really starting to hate my life..I feel that I am loosing the best things I have ever been givin to me...sometimes I feel that there is nothing worth living for anymore, m happiness is gone and so is my future for say. so many people piss me off in this world that i just want to crawl in a whole and die and to let all my pain disappear with me. To much bullshit and to many lies...why the fuck wont you just tell me to my face instead of behind my back it only makes it worse...if you dont like me tell me its not going to bother me...you think im a bitch tell me i dont care...im not here to please you!

Yea so what i have been cranky lately you would to if you have been sick for 2 weeks and then all of a sudden you have tests and midterms up the ass and you try to be wonder woman and stay out all night with friends when you know you should be home studying or sleeping. Sleep what a health word...i dont even know what sleep is anymore...So whatever if you have a problem tell me, talk to me, dont go to my boyfriend, dont go to anyone else, COME TO ME!!!

Me and Kyle are great so dont think that we are fighting or anything like that...he is the best thing i have right now since i feel i dont have anything else in the world..it feels that everyone has turned agaist me all of a sudden what did i do so horrible for me to feel this way!!

~*Stephy*~

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 22:19:35 GMT

I miss eveybody so much...
I hate being sick...
I love evrything..
Im coming home tomorrow
YAY!!

Well....

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 22:18:36 GMT

What can I can about my life hasn't been the best lately but it is getting better. Last weekend was pretty fun on Friday my dad came and picked me so i could go to work and then Sara brought me home and her, Keith and Kyle all stayed at my house. On saturday I went to work at 8am worked all day we got our asses kicked and then i ended up having to go to the emergency room becuse sara dropped a box of fries on my leg on accident and i ended up getting a leg contusion but it is getting better alittle bit but it still hurts like hell. Kyle again stayed on saturday night and then sunday i couldnt go to work because the doctor said to not go in so i finally got a chance to sleep in. It felt so good to sleep in. Then on sunday sara and all them took me back to utica and i got to hangout woth them for alittle bit..i had a good rode home..hehe. But im starting to hate this whole college life thing, its starting to get to busy and i dont know what to do and im starting not to be able to manage my tiem anymore. But other then that mine and kyles relationship is prolly the best, im so happy and now he says he has something planned for our 4 months and i want to know what it is but i know he is not going to tell me becuse it deals with me. My parents are starting to annoy me because they said that we will get a new car for me but now they are putting this whole thing were it cant be a newer car and blah blah bla....but it is my money this time so why shoule it matter to them what kind of car it is?? Im getting so sick of living in that house..i think i need to find a way to get out of that house...but yet at the same time i like living there..well i dont know they are starting to also realize that im 18 and im not always going to be around. well i dont know what else to say so im out for now!!

I love my boyfriend!!

I love Tyson!!

~*Stephy*~

I hate my life

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 20:07:43 GMT

I hate my life so much right now....the only good thing that happened was the weeken, that was amazing...saras birthday and me spending the whole weekend with kyle. but on tuesday on my way back to college i fucking totalled my car...it is gone if it can get fixed it will be a miracle since both air bags went off...fucking road and fucking guard rails....all i did was look over my shoulder to make sure i had passed the guy to get b ack in the driving lane when the lane splits into two and next thing i know my air bags it me in the face and im trying to pull my car to the right and get out....i was stuck in my car for a good 2 minutes trying to get out through my drivers door. My tire had jamed my door closed...i cant believe this...my car is GONE...but atleast im ok i guess is the best thing...my car can be replaced....they put me in a neck brace and on a strecher...i felt like i almost lost my life!!!

Goodbye for now

~*Stephy*~

*Truth Lyes On The Inside*...

three days

I did it..

wow...

hmm...

short

YAY!!

not much going on??

Photobucket

nothing really going on

today

Crushed

boring

nothing to say but at least i will try

the day after christmas....

Long time

Tiredness and ready for a new life

Just a little longer

I'm tired

To everyone

Well....

I hate my life

Truth Lyes On The Inside...